Traditionally, therapy services were something people accessed through the GP, voluntary services, or private therapist listings. Maybe people were connected with the therapy world in some way, and found a private therapist through word of mouth. Many clients find their therapist on sites like Psychology Today. This process of searching is maybe more ‘passive’, something people were seeking out for themselves following introspection. As a therapist, I see the relatively new endorsement and maybe normalisation of accessing therapy as a positive thing. I see why offers from bigger organisations offering therapy is tempting. Therapy is expensive and traditionally has involved searching for background information on the person you want to work with.
Thinking is involved in finding a suitable therapist, at a time where you might be exhausted, burnt out, generally searching for answers. Any service which promises to match you with someone suitable alongside a reasonable sounding fee might sound ideal. And perhaps it is. There might be differences in going with a private therapist, as opposed to a larger service, which you might not have considered. If you have the privilege to pay for therapy, there are reasons to consider individual therapists over accessing larger platforms.
Private therapists are able to show up at times and days that suit you (and usually them, too), are more in control of where they can invest time and energy in training and in thinking (and maybe creating) between sessions. Working in (and for) larger services can be complicated. What the therapist knows is good practice (for themselves, their clients) doesn’t always translate to the service they find themselves working within. Lack of appropriate pay, requirements for too-fast response times, or taking on more clients than is possible to work in a high quality way with, can lead to therapists not feeling (or doing) as much good. A good (enough) therapist understands that this shouldn’t become the client’s problem, and does their best to show up effectively. At times though, striking this balance can be challenging and it takes energy.
Offering a private service often allows therapists to stay grounded and connected during the work – this can help them to tune into the client’s needs. The service can be relational – the client knows if, when, and how, the therapist might respond between sessions, and the therapist might explain why they work in this way. It allows freedom to centre the needs of the individual client. When a therapist sets their fee, they are often deciding how many clients they can see in order to live, offering the best possible service they can whilst looking after their own needs for housing, food, and rest. In my practice, my fee allows me to keep a small enough client-list that I can provide additional slots when they’re needed. I have time for last minute bookings, or to support an existing client who didn’t think they needed it that week. It means there’s less of a wait to come back should you want to. I am able to focus time and training tailored to the clients I see. Working for myself in private practice only supports me to be a calm and regulated presence, no matter what is brought.
Experienced (and less experienced) therapists’ fees can cause a feeling of disappointment in a potential new client. Thoughts of “how do I spend that on myself each month’, and wondering about how the money could be spent elsewhere. I’ve seen jokes online like, “I didn’t need therapy, just needed…”, and it’s a holiday in sunny Italy. It makes sense. Private therapy is self-investment – and maybe sometimes the need genuinely is for a holiday and for sunshine. The savings made in delaying, reducing, or avoiding processing your experience might be helpful in the long term. Securing a happy and connected relationship with yourself and others can really show over time.
When searching for a private therapist, often there is the option for an introductory phone call or session, to check how you will work together and before making any financial commitment. I think this is a really good way to provide choice to clients, and for clients to get a sense of how safe they feel in discussing what’s going on with someone new.
Whether you’re new to therapy, or coming back, it is important you feel supported and aligned with the person you’re choosing to share so much of your world with.
